I’m beginning to like
looking at night stars.
Find a dry spot outside,
fill the dark with innocent gazing.
There’s no time to wish.
I am thinking beyond wishes.
Light has no answer
beyond its brightness,
beauty to remember.
I want to claim
the brightest star.
I am weak.
My eyes are the mirrors
no one stops in front of.
3 comments:
Is it possible that this would be stronger without the first stanza?
& without the subtext of 'I am weak'?
enjoyed this, thanks
21
S3 and S5 are particularly nice.
21k, thanks for the suggestions. for now, i want the "i am weak" to be there..but it does sound like an abrupt shift into that stanza. it is awkward. i will think about it..
jack and ginger, thanks for commenting. I appreciate it.
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