Sunday, June 19, 2005

Stars

I’m beginning to like
looking at night stars.
Find a dry spot outside,
fill the dark with innocent gazing.

There’s no time to wish.
I am thinking beyond wishes.

Light has no answer
beyond its brightness,
beauty to remember.

I want to claim
the brightest star.

I am weak.
My eyes are the mirrors
no one stops in front of.


3 comments:

deirdre said...

Is it possible that this would be stronger without the first stanza?

& without the subtext of 'I am weak'?

enjoyed this, thanks

21

Unknown said...

S3 and S5 are particularly nice.

JC said...

21k, thanks for the suggestions. for now, i want the "i am weak" to be there..but it does sound like an abrupt shift into that stanza. it is awkward. i will think about it..

jack and ginger, thanks for commenting. I appreciate it.