Sunday, June 19, 2005

Stars

I’m beginning to like
looking at night stars.
Find a dry spot outside,
fill the dark with innocent gazing.

There’s no time to wish.
I am thinking beyond wishes.

Light has no answer
beyond its brightness,
beauty to remember.

I want to claim
the brightest star.

I am weak.
My eyes are the mirrors
no one stops in front of.


4 comments:

21k said...

Is it possible that this would be stronger without the first stanza?

& without the subtext of 'I am weak'?

enjoyed this, thanks

21

anders said...

very pretty.

gingerivers said...

S3 and S5 are particularly nice.

Jill said...

21k, thanks for the suggestions. for now, i want the "i am weak" to be there..but it does sound like an abrupt shift into that stanza. it is awkward. i will think about it..

jack and ginger, thanks for commenting. I appreciate it.