Sunday, June 05, 2005

El Culo de Bettie

Miss Betty Haas bent over to fix the flat
on her Model T while on the way to church,
ay, dios mio, el culo de Bettie tan chulo,

there was a nail in her tire.
Oh, no, she broke a fingernail on the Goodyear,
but, oh, my god, what a fine rear.

All the men driving by
almost rear-ended the cars in front
because they were driving with her backside.

Imagine yourself there, like that tire without air,
her fingers on your nuts,
turning each one counter-clockwise

until she’s finally done
and pulls the jack off---
the hot, deflated tire in her trunk.

Please disqualify me from the contest
because while I was looking at her ass
I was sneaking a peek at her breasts!

(c)2005 by el culero


didi said...

Here is the review of your poem:

anders said...

Let me try again, last night I was a little strung out. Reading the poem sober this morning, it is a fine, horny poem. I don't understand the reference to "Model T" in line 2 -- was that out of the painting/source of the poem, or is it a deliberate joke image referencing a long-extinguished car model? In any event, because people don't drive Model Ts anymore, and because the language of the poem is contemporary/colloquial, I am left assuming that "Model T" is a deliberate kitsch injection into the car image -- i.e. deliberately jokey or playful.

The foreign language words at the end of S1 (stanza 1) are nice musically.

S2: This is a red-blooded, horny male poem. Like watching a soaped-up Pamela Anderson in a Motley Crue video where she's washing a car. Or that scene in "Cool Hand Luke."

S3: The metaphorical play on "rear" here is a little heavy, which is why last night when my consciousness was somewhat twisted, I misread if paranoically. What I mean is, the tonality could be processed or deployed a little subtler here, in the words. The joke on "rear"/"backside" seems overstated.

S4-S5: I initially read this as a put-down of me, moi, Jack, but this a.m., I read it as simply being a double entendre joke wordplay on "jack" i.e. car engine mechanics vs. "jack" i.e. gettin' nasty. The imagery still seems a touch heavyhanded -- the progression of double meanings seems a little too strongly marked.

S6: I like the sense of modesty, joke, and colloquial idiomatic expression here. It reminds me in its lightness of a Brooks Hoffman poem.

666poetry-finchnot said...

i think it's a great poem too

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