and then a fleckless folding wingsof
something more akin to unuvulated
grace firmaments inculcated waytéd
laceless licklustreful disemplaced em-
braces striated by road by parture by
damp prepossessing. It was thus but
shrags sourded: sycamore progeniture
has tried its progeny, ground ugly, wasted
shifting ash-leafed maple sative in this teasing
town. The blank that. Flocculent Southdowns littering
distract; hillside as just …, relationship
ass mistraction so sibilants weapon
yesterday’s ambient true course
fallen each runs on each curse
both sheep brained, infacund
....................................yet
both treatise as if heaven
slovens. How (without
remiss) to save - from
henceforth make
mere muck
promise?
6 comments:
Hi Ann Marie
Can you share what you're saying/doing through this passage, since most of the unfamiliar words aren't in my online dictionary. Is this meant to be a sound poem here aka C. Coolidge style? The copy and paste made the breaks strange, but you can sort out which section I mean..thanks. It would help me make a more useful comment.
unuvulated
grace firmaments inculcated waytéd
laceless licklustreful disemplaced em-
braces striated by road by parture by
damp prepossessing. It was thus but
shrags sourded: sycamore progeniture
has tried its progeny,
Hi Pris
I use The Shorter Oxford Dictionary which is a rather large volume plus invent words
facund= eloquent
I made up infacund I think=not eloquent
flocculent=resembling wool
sative=planted/not native
shrag=a lopped off branch
sourd= to rise up - I made up sourded to rhyme almost with sordid
fleckless is a cross between fleck and reckless
wingsof= wings of that has been folded into one word wingsof
uvula - well you know that - unuvulated I made up meaning unexpressed by the throat - kept in the belly - unvioced from any meaningful part
wayted - kept not just waiting but weighty and on the way - kept alongside waiting
Southdowns are a breed of sheep
mistraction - a missed attraction, a kind of distractraction but misplaced/misused
the sheep are spots on the hills
two people become one which is a distraction which is a crossing of boundaries as if the landscape had become inside of them - the landscape muddled almost as if in a migraine attack - the town providing trees but parkland tress not wild trees - the town not helping their boundary damage - they become like the sheep - a brainless herd following each other into the trap despite whatever promises were made - they both on one level 'agree' to this - they treatise - treat-ise to rhyme with treat-eyes - they unconsciously make a treaty - land when it's befuddled like this becomes muck - they make muck - how do they get out of the muck and back into what they promised?
relationship becomes hissed - 'as' becomes 'ass' - whispers become weapon
The poem is simply setting the context for the real mess they are in - literally.
from muck to promise but heaven 'slovens' - from slovenly - actively slovens
Hope this helps.
Thanks for the time.
Thanks. I appreciate your taking the time to define the words:-) I'll print those out and come back to reread tomorrow. Off the puter for the night, right now.
Hi Ann Marie
I didn't want to leave you hanging. I'm having a reaction to an antibiotic so have been up most of the night and can't even think, today. I liked the way you framed the poem and used the unusual words to complement what you were saying. That's about as profound as I can get in my commment this morning:-)
A fun, challenging mouthful of words, I appreciate it more each time I read it.
I would consider cutting the lustreful off of licklustreful.
This is my favourite bit:
It was thus but
shrags sourded:... ground ugly, wasted
shifting ash-leafed maple sative in this teasing
town. The blank that.
thanks.
deirdre
dear thread
thanks for all this f/back
I rewrote and audio'd it on my blog
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