Friday, July 01, 2005

Ellipse

There is bliss in the arc of a whale's tail
and the way the rain only strikes me
every seventh drop.

And if you're careful, you'll find it
in the curve between the morning glory
and the tip of a hummingbird's tongue.

But we don't dive in the ocean
or run unfettered through the storm,
and our nectar falls, not from
wordless feathered flights,

but from the empty bend of my arms.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

gorgeous !!!

love the close.

JC said...

beautiful.

Erin said...

thanks guys. I'm thinking of replacing "careful" with "quiet" or "still"....

Erin said...

well you see, that was my original intent with 'careful' but I like the sonics in quiet/see it.

I wonder what it's like to go through life as a non-writer and never be driven insane by one single word choice ;)

hwf said...

Nice work, Erin. I wonder what difference it would make using the proper name for a whale's fin instead of just 'tail'. Of course, I over-wonder quite often :).

Helm.

Erin said...

flukes?

There is bliss in the arc of a whale's flukes?

maybe fin? Flukes isn't going to work though, it's too hard with the fl/k sounds.

CSOC said...

I think its perfect "as is".
Wonderful

Erin said...

why thank you keros!

I doubt I've reached perfection, but I'm glad you enjoyed this piece.
~E