I will not speak of it
though sun speckles the ivy
with yellow light
and foxgloves sway
in the breeze.
I will be silent
through heat and stunning
slices of rain; through
the river’s decline
to its grey-pebbled bed.
Though the air
turns orange and thick
with fire, I will say
nothing. I drift like a ghost
through my own life.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
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4 comments:
Hi sb
beautiful poem, quite lovely.
the last stanza, second line, should be "turns"
"I drift like a ghost through my own life" - boy do I feel that way some days.
The use of "speckle" and "turn" rather than speckles and turns make the language in this feel archaic - and though I'm not entirely against the use of archaic language, I have to admit tht I don't understand your intent when using it here, which makes it feel out of place in this piece to me.
Otherwise I think you have some great lines and images. I particularly like S2's stunning slices of rain - very vivid image. Then following that with the river's decline really gives a sense of time passing through the seasons.
I also like the fact that "I will" is used in each stanza - it gives the speaker a voice of intention and strength, as if he/she chooses to (or not to) do these things, which is nicely contrasted with the final line's passivity.
nice poem!
on 2nd & 3rd reading
I have to agree w/ the comments
A wonderful mood to this poem, and I really like the way it begins with "I will not speak of it," (which of course makes us eager to read on).
Speckle and turn did snag me, but if you're willing they'd be such small modifications in a gorgeous poem.
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