Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Response Poem

Response Poem To Where Once the Waters of your Face
by: Dylan Thomas

Salt

There is no loneliness in this ocean,
my sweet-tongued love

deep down where no man can go
I puff with tentacles that flow
like hot-coal red
hair, a dance

I float, somersault
turn into
the black water
where other things
hang mid-water
with glow

It is quiet, oh so quiet,
love,
not shark or eel
or sweet-tongued octopi
can come this far

so I stay right here
content in my
weightlessness

when you see a bubble surface
in the center of still water
think of me and remember

you will turn to ash in air
and I, salt
dense and brilliant
as diamonds

Michelle M. Buchanan Jan 11, 2005

7 comments:

Lyle Daggett said...

I really like this.

Michelle e o said...

I almost didn't post it lyle. I felt lame though cause so many people participated. This is the first time I've ever written in response, it pales in comparison to what everyone else posted. But oh well, least I can say I tried it! Thanks =)

Pris said...

It's not pale at all! I like it, too. Bravo and glad u posted it.

nancy said...

I love the last stanza, Michelle. Very original and a great image to leave us with.

peace,
nancy.

Michelle e o said...

Thanks Pris and Nancy. I do want to say that I enjoyed reading every one of the response poems here - they are all so great, and different. It's kind of amazing how different!

Rae Pater said...

Great response poem Michelle! It's so interesting to see where everyone takes this.

sb said...

I like this very much. I'm having no luck at all writing one of these, so am breaking my usual practice of not reading others until I'm done.

This, I think, captures a wonderful, mystical and musical, mood.