Monday, August 29, 2005

Waiting for a Response to a Love Letter

The clock has spun itself dizzy,
no doubt nauseous – in a moment
time will spew from its round face
and ooze out onto the hardwood floors,

gathering in a thick puddle
like so much quicksand
to suck my apartment down
into some nameless void,

swallowing the blue recliner
and the stack of books on the coffee table,
devouring the writing desk,
the office chair and the cup of pencils:

everything that I know, all that I am,
will soon be ground between time's yellowed teeth,
savored for a moment,
and then digested until it is only a fine dust

while, outside, the forgetful world
will continue about its business
of love and hate, dreams and fears,
just as you might do tomorrow –

sitting down to write me back
after a quick, thoughtless snack.

3 comments:

Pris said...

I like! I wondered how enjambment would work for S2 and 3. ie move gathering and swallowing up to the last line of the stanza above. It would involved some rearranging to get the lines set so that the words didn't just out, but, for me, it would emphasize those strong key words and also create the rushing feeling of the quicksand more effectively, too.

I love the ending.

My opinion, to use or lose/

Lorna Dee Cervantes said...

I like this poem. (It hits home right now, too.) Love the ending. Good example of what I call, the "unexpected inevitable" for lack of another way to describe that "YEAH" that comes out of a person when witnessing any great music being played,, song being sung, Olympics being won. Yeah.

I'll think about Pris' comment and come back to it. There *something* about those lines. And it's a tight space to fiddle.

Ah, but the dance! Thanks.

(haha, my word verification reads: fok wil
oddly appropriate for a Sysyphus Walking sitting in a Café. lol Yes, this means I'm human.)

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