Elegy

Your absence is a black sun,
a blazing void we circle
in love’s hopeless orbit.

Today I felt your nearness
when I could say nothing
in the long moment of pause

that swelled out from the phone
as my mother, your ex-wife,
spoke about suicide -

a long moment of pause
that swelled out like the bubbles
which once filled the bathtub

when I was your favorite child
and you would lift me, shivering,
from the water and wrap around

me a towel to keep me safe
and warm in the bathroom air
suddenly so cold.